i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
