I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
