love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
