Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
