she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
