My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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