grandma shit on top of the toilet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
