i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize