return my video game
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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