I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
