oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
