I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
