you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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