either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize