elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
