Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
