was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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