Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
