My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
