bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
