Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I deserve this hangover.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
