The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
