Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Its about making memories worth repressing
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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