3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
