i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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