Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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