Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
