her vagina looked like bernie madoff
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
