A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
