I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
