all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
