ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
