I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
