never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
