dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
