you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you pee in the oven last night??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
