the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
