I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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