one two three fourrrrnication!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
