just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
