i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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