i just had sex bonerless
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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