what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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