I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
