I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
