It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize