that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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