Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
