All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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