Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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