D3 body, D1 cock
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
