hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
