I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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