i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
