Welp...herpes.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
