Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
