Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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