He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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