you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
