so explain again why im purple
no
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
